


Some Sense of Normalcy

by keelywolfe



Series: by any other name [102]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Domestic, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of past injury, Prejudice Against Monsters (Undertale), Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), Undertale Monsters on the Surface, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24506974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keelywolfe/pseuds/keelywolfe
Summary: It's Edge's first day back to work at the Embassy, but his job isn't the only thing on his mind.
Relationships: Papyrus/Papyrus (Undertale), Spicyhoney
Series: by any other name [102]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1039829
Comments: 107
Kudos: 113





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

Edge’s internal clock was accurate to nearly the minute. It was a rare day that his alarm actually woke him; normally he was awake minutes beforehand to shut it off before it could buzz and Stretch often teased him about it, asking why he even bothered to set it. Such was the difference between someone who never wanted to oversleep versus one who was committed to it.

Today was no exception to the alarm rule; being off work for a short time hadn’t reset his internal clock now that it was the day for him to return. But for once, Edge wasn’t reaching for his phone. Instead, he kept his sockets closed, his focus entirely on the warm, skeletal body snugged in his arms, as if perhaps he could draw out time and stay here in his bed with Stretch for a little longer.

Unexpectedly, the one to stir first was not him. Stretch let out a sleepy sigh and mumbled, “you’re gonna be late.”

“No, I won’t.”

“yeah, you will. unless you’re gonna skip a shower and coffee, and we both know what kind of mistake that would be.”

Yes, the kind that would make everyone else in the office suffer, either from surliness or stench. Edge wasn’t quite ready to concede the point and nuzzled a kiss against the top of Stretch’s skull. “The person in charge is never late.”

A soft chuckle and Stretch squirmed at the ticklish touch, shifting until he could rest his chin on Edge’s sternum to look up at him. A chance to gaze at Stretch always made for a lovely vision, even as exhausted as he obviously was. 

After their discussion in the kitchen, surrounded with chickens as an impromptu audience, they’d stayed sitting together on the floor long enough for Edge’s leg to cease pulsing out operatic scales of pain and gone straight to a throbbing rendition of ‘The Marriage of Figaro.’ Once he’d struggled back to his feet, Edge had been forced to allow Stretch to handle the chickens, even Nugget in her planter, still nesting on her dubious egg.

Even through his discomfort, hearing Stretch joke that, ‘this isn’t usually what they mean when they say a bucket of chicken,’ sent a pulse of affection through him. Ridiculous jokes were always a good sign, for Stretch, if not for Edge’s sense of humor.

Dinner had been sandwiches, also made by Stretch, and they’d gone to bed early, and from the look of today, Stretch was feeling more his happier self. Except, appearances could be deceiving, especially when Stretch was trying to keep from being what he thought was a nuisance and what Edge considered giving loving support to his partner. 

If Stretch was doing better, Edge wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth, but neither was he about to let it come into the house and tromp all over their living room. Today was supposed to be his first day back to work at the Embassy and he’d stay home if Stretch needed him.

“How are you feeling?” Edge asked, seriously. He ran a gloved finger along the delicate rim of Stretch’s socket, lingering at the darkened half-moon beneath. Stretch leaned into the touch, his sockets falling half-closed.

“not terrible but not great,” Stretch said, frankly, with enough honesty to soothe some of Edge’s misgivings. “i have a video appointment with doc lee in a couple hours. i’m not feeling very public right now and she said if i was comfortable with it, it’d save me the bus trip downtown.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” Edge said softly.

“oh, yeah?” Stretch raised a brow bone. “glad to hear it, since she also told me to tell you she can schedule your appointment whenever you like.”

Ah. “Of course,” Edge agreed crisply. He would call her later in the day, schedule his appointment, of course he would. He gave Stretch a last, light kiss than got out of the bed, taking a moment to retrieve his cane. “If you have a few hours, then why don’t you go back to sleep for a while, love?”

Stretch only piled up the pillows, propping himself up against them with a contented sigh. “and miss the show? c’mon, handsome, let’s see what you’re wearing your first day back.”

Edge stopped halfway to the closet and gave Stretch a look that stated clearly that he was a brat. Then he remembered, “I forgot to mention, Bruno stopped by yesterday.”

That wiped away a little of Stretch’s smirk, replacing it with wariness. “oh, did he.”

“Mmhmm.” On his side of the closet, a garment bag hung unassumingly and innocent. Edge stripped away the bag and brought out its contents unobscured, holding it out so that Stretch could take in the full effect of the kilt with its jacket. 

Stretch’s sockets went wide, his pale eye lights flicking from the outfit to Edge contemplatively, surely already playing out a mental movie in that clever mind of his how Edge would look in it.

“Interesting choice,” Edge said lightly. He smoothed a hand down the fine cloth, picking away an imaginary speck of lint. “A little formal for work, isn’t it?”

It was and it would likely draw unwanted attention. But Stretch chose it, Edge would be more than pleased to wear it for him and take a few stares as his due. 

“yea, think it is, actually,” Stretch said slowly. His tongue flicked nervously across his teeth, “not exactly the same standard you set with those power suits of yours. might be better to save it for a special occasion.”

Or rather, an occasion where Stretch could bear witness instead of one with him buried into his office all day. He hid the smirk threatening to reveal itself and zipped the kilt suit back into the garment bag with only a twinge of regret. “Perhaps you’re right.”

And perhaps a private viewing could be arranged in the near future. 

A more sedate suit choice later and Edge hesitated at the side of the bed. He had enough time yet for coffee, but Stretch was right, he needed to hurry, or he’d be late for his first day back. And yet— “Can I call you on my lunch?”

“ain’t it ‘may’ you call?” Stretch drawled. His smile was softer. “babe, you don’t need to ask to call me. i’ll pick up, okay?”

“Okay.” Then he gave into temptation, pushed Stretch back into the rumpled blankets and took a kiss, trying without words to express the depth of his love, his concern, all the emotions wound up tight inside him.

He couldn’t say if he was entirely successful, but the gentle reflection of love in Stretch’s briefly heart-shaped eye lights was a good start.

“oh, hey, before you take off,” Stretch got out of bed, unselfconsciously naked, and went downstairs, leaving Edge to trail behind him as he tried not to stare at the tempting sway of Stretch’s bare shapely pelvis as he walked. 

Of all things, Edge did not expect Stretch to retrieve a rumpled paper bag, about the size of a lunch sack. He held it out expectantly. “can you take this to janice? we did a craft thing the other day and oscar’s wasn’t dry yet so he couldn’t take it home. figured it might be safer for his mom to carry it than for him to run with ceramics, anyway.”

“Of course.” Edge took the bag, carefully tucking it around the contents, and added it to his briefcase.

One travel mug of coffee and his laptop bag later, and Edge headed out the front door, cane in hand. He hardly made it down the steps before he stopped with a scowl. 

Red was standing by his car, hands tucked into his pocket and a grin on his face. It made his hackles rise, particularly considering the way Red handled the situation with Nugget. He wasn’t unappreciative of his brother’s efforts, but he couldn’t truly say he was exactly thankful, either. 

Edge stopped several feet away and well out of arm’s reach, a long ago lesson learned when it came to those who could teleport. “What do you want?”

“good to see you, too, bro,” Red snorted. He was chewing on a toothpick and that alone was suspicious, that he wasn’t smoking one of his horrible cigars. Confirmed when he added, “here to drive you to work.”

“No,” Edge said immediately. “I’m perfectly capable of driving myself.”

“yep,” Red agreed.

“The doctor cleared me to drive as long as the distance wasn’t excessive.”

“sure did.”

“And I’ve driven several times since I’ve had the cast removed.”

“i know. gonna argue with me in front of the honey bun?”

Sure enough, when Edge glanced behind him, Stretch was peeking out the curtains curiously and he knew damn well that the chances of him hastily snagging a raincoat out of the front closet and coming out to see what was the problem was dangerously high. The very idea of arguing with his brother while his husband stood by naked beneath a coat while their overly interested neighbors looked on made him stifle a shudder of pure horror. 

Edge gritted his teeth and went to the car, putting his case in the back. He went to the passenger side and stood by the door, looking at his brother directly, meeting that irritatingly amused crimson gaze with his own. “Why do you want to drive me?”

To have Red look away first was inconceivable, illogical. His crimson eye lights slid to the side, a fleeting expression of discomfort crossing his face. Edge took a cautious step towards him, “Brother?”

“need someone to have your back. get in the fucking car,” Red muttered. 

Wordlessly, Edge did as he was told. 

Red drove with a combination of careless skill and blue magic, disconcerting and impressive at the same time. He wove through traffic and more than once, Edge bit back directives that would only open him his brother’s mocking. Backseat driving was a great deal more enjoyable with Jeff and far more likely to actually have results. 

It was right after Red sped through the very tail end of a yellow light that he said. “you sure you’re ready to wade back into the shit?”

Edge gave his brother a narrow look. “Of course I am.”

“yeah? got that psych eval scheduled already, didja.” That was unexpected. For all that Red was more likely to sacrifice an arm to satisfy Papyrus’s obnoxious dog than to schedule a therapist appointment of his own, he’d never mocked or derided Sans and Stretch for doing so. In fact, he never really discussed it at all, less an elephant in the room and more a blue whale crammed inside, tail tucked behind its head. 

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Edge told him coolly, “but not yet. I’d planned on doing it today.”

“yeah, you do that.” It sounded suspiciously like an order. Honestly, this was giving him an entirely new perspective on Stretch’s irritation with his brother’s obsession with his mental health. 

Red said nothing else as he drove, the irritating twang of the country station he’d chosen filling the silence. His brother dropped him off directly at the entrance, parking in such a way that allowed the car to act as a barricade against the protestors that lined the sidewalk across the streets. A quick glance confirmed that while some of the signs had changed in the aftermath of the California attack, the message certainly hadn’t. There were enough mentions of dust to make any person crave a glass of cool water and to give a Monster nightmares.

He turned away and went inside, leaning on his cane a little heavier than he would have preferred. His mobility scooter was supposed to be delivered today and as much as that was supposed to ease his travels, Edge couldn’t say he was looking forward to learning how to use it in the Embassy hallways.

“Morning, Edge.” The security Monster didn’t look up from the screens, most displaying camera angles from outside and in, and one showing what appeared to be reruns of ‘I Love Lucy’. A believable façade of disinterest, one that Edge knew was tested from time to time by his own brother. If hostiles believed security was lax, they didn’t put in as much effort to thwart it, it was a technique they’d used back in Snowdin on their own house and out in the woods against XP hunters, tricking them into bypassing the obvious traps only to step into the better concealed ones.

Details might change, but their techniques worked, no matter what Universe they were in.

Edge nodded in greeting and swiped his badge, heading to the elevators. By the time he was nearly to his office, a trek constantly interrupted by greetings and well-wishers, Edge was very much looking forward to using his scooter even if he made him appear like a castoff Tony Hawk impersonator. His leg was aching furiously and consistently, there was probably still some residual swelling from yesterday.

Once he was in his office, he could put it up, he told himself, even as he struggled not to be curt while another Monster offered delight at seeing him back. 

The sight of his office door had never been such a relief and Edge only nodded distractedly at Janice’s greeting, limping into his own office. 

He nearly fell to the sofa with a sigh of relief, propping his leg up on the arm. The angry throb of pain began to ease almost immediately, dulling down to bearable. This was starting to become a concern, he might need to— 

“Edge?” He startled, clenching his fists against the sudden surge of his magic even as he cursed himself; he hadn’t even noticed Janice following him in. She stood just inside the door, asking cautiously, “Are you all right? Can I get you anything?”

Motherly concern surrounded her almost like an aura, her long ears high and alert. Edge almost refused, then changed his mind. “There should be an ice pack in the freezer, if you don’t mind?”

She retrieved it hastily and helped him settle it between the straps of the splint. The cold was immediately soothing, and Edge sighed in relief, letting his head drop back on the sofa arm. He opened a socket to find Janice watching him with the expected concern. She didn’t try to hug him, she was far too professional for that, but the urge was vividly obvious.

Edge reached out and lightly patted her arm, “I’m fine, the walk took more out of me than I expected.”

That seemed enough and relief filled her soft brown eyes, “Of course, it is a bit of a jaunt up here. Can I get you some coffee?”

“Please,” Edge said gratefully. Not only for the coffee itself but for a chance to gather himself without an audience. 

She returned all too soon with a cup and set it on the table, saying, “I would have been by to see you at home, but I didn’t think you’d like an audience.”

That was one thing to be grateful for, considering the outfits he’d been forced to wear while convalescing. “I appreciate that.”

“I knew you would. Besides, it isn’t as if we didn’t speak enough between emails and messaging.” She straightened and professionalism settled over her like a shield. “Speaking of which, let me get your schedule for the day. It’s a light load to start, per Asgore, of course.”

“Of course,” Edge repeated wryly, “Ah, before I forget, here, I brought this for you.”

He pulled the crumpled paper bag out of his briefcase, handing it over. Janice opened it curiously. She took out what was perhaps supposed to be a coffee cup, if it were made by someone who’d had it described to them by Salvador Dali and then exposed the results to absurd amount of radiation. It was lumpy and lopsided, the handle managed to be both entirely too large and also positioned where it couldn’t be comfortable held. The colors could be best described as ‘muddy’ and worst as a visual nightmare rained down upon a ceramic that had already seen its fair share of suffering in its short life. 

Janice held it up appraisingly and gave Edge an oddly gentle smile, “Thank you. You did a wonderful job.”

Realization hit and embarrassed heat rose in his face with the force of an explosion, spreading all the way to the top of his skull. “No, no,” he sputtered out, “your son made it with Stretch and the other children, I was only delivering it!”

“Oh, thank heavens,” Janice almost sagged in relief, pressing a furry hand to her chest, “I was worried you’d hit your head, too. It’s lovely, of course, but from you I’d expect something a little more…” she hesitated, and Edge raised a brow bone as she settled on “…precise.”

Fair enough.

“Yes, well, as fascinating as this has been, let’s get to work,” Edge said crisply.

“Of course, let me bring in your schedule.” She bustled out and while she was gone, Edge made his way to the desk, carrying along the ice pack. He settled it back into place as he sat in his office chair and the simple act of signing into his computer was nearly as soothing as the ice. 

By the end of the day, his leg would surely be singing another tune, but for now, he was focused on getting back to work. 

Back to normal, one painful step at a time.

* * *

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Stretch kept watch out the front window, waiting for Edge to drive off with Red at the wheel of his car and wasn’t that a question he didn’t have time to find out the answer. Then he went back upstairs to get dressed; he had places to be and of course today would be the morning that Edge decided to let his ridged adherence to his schedule slip. 

It was pretty damned hard to nudge Edge out the door without making him suspicious, since all previous evidence pointed to Stretch trying to keep him in bed as long as possible and now that he was finally gone, Stretch needed to double-time it. 

He hadn't lied about the video conference with his therapist, but that wasn't until this afternoon and there was something to look forward to. He had a love/hate thing going with Doc Lee, loved that she could help him collect all his thoughts back into the right baskets and get 'em back in order, hated that he had to actually talk about why they were scattered to begin with to get there.

In the meantime, he yanked on the first pair of pants and sweatshirt he found in his side of the closet. He was headed back downstairs, socks in hand, when the doorbell rang. 

Stretch opened the door, leaning awkwardly on the jamb as he reached down to pull on his socks. "hey, andy."

“Morning,” Jeff said with a smile. He was dressed for work and Jeff’s style was a little less posh than Edge went for. No suit coat and his button-up shirt was a deep blue with a scattered floral pattern and a sort of long, gauzy white vest hanging open over the works. He looked good and Stretch didn’t mind telling him so.

“good thing i’m a math genius, your clothes are looking pretty _acute_ there.” 

Faint pink rose in Jeff’s cheeks. The kid didn’t take a compliment well, it was a work in progress. But he sure as heck proved his pun skills were up to par. “Thanks for going at the _right angle_ so I don’t have to be _obtuse_ about it. Are you ready to head out?”

“give me two minutes to feed the chickens and we can hit it.”

Stretch headed into the backyard, Jeff at his heels. Jeff stayed out of the coop in deference to his nice shoes and only watched as Stretch let the chickens out, scooping feed into their trough. Nugget came out of the coop last, not the normal order of things, gobbling her food with record speed. Probably wanted to book it back inside to her weird nest and that was another mystery on Stretch’s list. It’d keep for a day or two, and Stretch would take a dozen peculiar eggs, carton and all, to have her back home. He gave her a light pat, didn’t even mind when his affection was ignored in favor of the eats. 

Meanwhile, Jeff wandered over to the freshly planted garden beds, peering down at the tiny points of green poking out. "So, do I get to hear why you didn't hitch a ride in with Edge?"

See, that was the problem with Jeff being pals with Edge; it made him concerned for Edge’s welfare and feelings and stuff. That was some double-sided sticky tape, ‘cause Stretch wanted Jeff to like Edge but not enough that he’d tattle. "that would be because he'd interrogate me about what i was doing."

"And you think I won't?"

"nah, you will, but you're more lucky to fall for the eyes." Stretch turned to him, feed bucket still in hand, and gave him the very best doe-eyed, pathetic look in his collection. 

"okay, that is pretty effective,” Jeff admitted, “But, somehow, I don't think you're planning a surprise party. So, I have to ask, is what you're doing going to make Edge mad and that's why you're going behind his back?"

"nope." Probably not, anyway.

Jeff gave Stretch a scrutinizing look that would give Sans a run for his money. Well, maybe a leisurely stroll. “All right,” he said at last, “If I don’t take you to the Embassy, you’ll just take the bus, anyway. But if something is actually wrong or you need real help that isn’t solved by a quick lift, you tell me. Deal?”

“deal,” Stretch hesitated and added, “i promise.” Fuck it, Andy was his best friend, if he couldn’t confess to him at least a little, then he might as well start rethinking the title. 

Stretch never really gave Jeff a rundown about how he felt about promises, but stood to reason that someone did. His expression softened into a lopsided smile and he jerked his head towards the house. “Then let’s get going before I’m late. Catty is a good boss but the last person in has to get coffee for everyone for the rest of the day.”

The ladies were still chowing down and Stretch left them to it, though he did double and then triple check that the gate was shut tight. Not that he’d ever accidentally left it open, but he was pretty resigned to being stupid about his chicks for a little while yet. 

Jeff’s car was a sporty little compact with a surprisingly amount of legroom in the front seats and there was zero doubt in Stretch’s mind that Edge was the one who chose it with that feature in mind, along with every safety feature package that they could cram in without popping a seam. He didn’t wait for the seat belt speech, already buckling up, and they were off. 

Crawling through the streets of New New Home to the security checkpoint and once they were through the gate, Jeff turned things up a notch. His cautious driving was only about a step down from Edge’s, but unlike Edge, Jeff didn’t say a peep when Stretch rolled down the window and let his arm dangle out, relishing the cool wind on his bony fingers.

Nice to be able to relax and enjoy the breeze. Edge would’ve bitched at him and he knew from experience that Blue would stop the car and refuse to move until he rolled the window back up, citing statistics about Humans losing limbs and heads all the while. 

Yeah, okay, today wasn’t a good day to think about anyone losing their head. Stretch pulled his arm back in and let it sit more sedately on the window ledge. He could feel Jeff giving him a look, but he didn’t say anything, didn’t ask or probe or scold and that was why he was an awesome friend. Even if a couple times he’d asked about things Stretch didn’t like to think about, things from the past, from Underswap—

The sound of the wind through the opened window suddenly sounded a little too much like a brewing storm in Snowdin, the way they often swirled up across the narrow path that led to Waterfall. Dredged up memories that Stretch usually kept packed away, neat and tidy in a box of ‘past is past’. His head really wasn’t on straight today and—

_Stop it, STOP IT—_

“how’s things at the embassy?” Stretch asked abruptly. He yanked his arm inside and rolled the window up entirely, sealing out the blowing wind. Jeff didn’t seem perturbed about the sudden break in the silence. 

“Great. Busy.” Jeff kept his eyes on the road, but his smile was honest and wide, “I know you’re going to put me off for saying this, but I seriously could never thank you guys enough for getting me this job.”

Stretch shrugged. “i didn’t have anything to do with it. i have less pull at the embassy than hussain, and i’ve heard what he did with the cafeteria.”

“The food is great,” Jeff agreed, “especially the falafel.” His quick side eye said a lot about how much he believed the rest of it. 

It wasn’t that Stretch minded the gratitude, but it really wasn’t necessary. Yeah, sure, being his pal probably got Jeff’s foot through the door. That wouldn’t make Edge give Jeff a job that he couldn’t do or that he wouldn’t be suited for. Strategy was what Edge did, and if he thought Jeff would be great for Public Relations, Stretch was a hundred-and-nine percent sure he was right. 

“anything i had to do with it was strictly by association,” Stretch told him, “you’re probably more lucky being my pal didn’t put them off, but eh, if they haven’t ditched edge, i doubt you’ll be in line.”

“I think if they fired Edge, half the Embassy would grab their staplers and follow him out the door,” Jeff snorted, “Speaking of lines, you want to stop for a coffee on our way?”

Seriously, best pals forever, “lead on, macduff, i’ll follow you anywhere.”

Jeff laughed even as he turned into the lot for the Beanery and headed for the drive-thru.

* * *

Jeff dropped Stretch off at the Embassy entrance before he went to park his car. Which was fine, he knew where he was going, and he didn’t need Jeff to hold his hand along the way. 

The security guard only gave him a disinterested look as he swiped his rarely-used keycard and headed for the elevator. Not the normal elevators, the ones that led to the offices upstairs that Humans and Monsters used all day long, where you could press any button and be off. 

No, the elevator to the labs was around the corner from those and needed a keycard just to open the doors, another swipe of the card with a password to activate it. Not all Monsters had access to all the labs, and their cards would only take them as far down as their security clearance allowed. 

Stretch’s card would take him to any of the labs. All he had to do was swipe it. 

He stood in front of the elevator, the card gripped too-tight in the clench of his fingers, staring at the closed doors. 

When he’d texted Alphys yesterday, she’d been perfectly happy to meet with him, but said she couldn’t get away from the labs right now, so he’d have to come here. He’d assured her that it was fine and yesterday, it was. It’d been a relief, even. 

Somehow while he’d been lying in bed the day before, lost in the tangle of his thoughts, the idea of his HP dropping again got hooked into his head. He couldn't stop thinking about it, none of his distraction techniques were working, his focus was fucking shot. All the clues that he might be having HP trouble were banging on the door, demanding to be let into his mind. 

Like the fact that the lower his HP got, the wearier he was and just lately, he'd been feeling awfully damned tired. He'd gotten used to his HP being at five and the extra slice of energy that came with that. Falling asleep at random times in even more random places was becoming the exception rather than the norm and he fucking well liked it that way.

Last time Alphys checked him over, his HP was back on the rise, but it’d been a while. Lately, he'd been smoking way too much, using up a lot of magic healing, and he’d been so, so tired. He wasn’t the puzzle-fiend that his bro and Edge were, but even he could do one that only had a couple pieces.

Yesterday, Alphys’s assurances that he could stop in had been a relief, enough to make that worry back off a little and let him go back to his sour ball of grief over Nugget. Now that mourning was off the table, the reports of her death greatly exaggerated, here came his ghostly HP worries, trundling back in to for another go at haunting the inside of his skull. 

After dinner, he’d gone upstairs to take a shower and stood there, looking at himself in the mirror. All it would’ve take was a quick Check, only a few seconds, and his stats would have spilled out right in front of his eye lights, letting him know exactly the state of his HP. Just a quick check and if everything looked good, he could tell Alphys never mind, he could stay home and take a day, not curled up on the bed but on the sofa, maybe, day-binging Netflix. Or outside, watching the chickens roam the yard, maybe see if Nugget would let him get a picture of that mystery egg she was so protective of. 

Would’ve only taken a quick Check and Stretch just…couldn't. The magic was sitting there ready to be used and he couldn’t make himself pull the trigger on doing it. He couldn't do it and he sure as fuck wasn’t going to ask Edge. Like Edge needed any other problems on his radar? Not a chance. 

So that cemented the plan right there. He was gonna go downtown and see what the deal was, and if it was bad, he would tell Edge. No secrets, not this time, no trying to hide this shit. Edge was going to have to deal with whatever fallout came down the line from his HP dropping, so may as well give him as much prep time as he could. 

All he had to do was open the elevator door. 

“Do you want me to come with you?”

Stretch startled so badly the world blurred around him in an aborted shortcut. The mostly empty coffee cup in his hands slipped though his fingers, spilling out a few creamy droplets when it hit the floor. 

Jeff only went to the nearby cleaning station to grab a paper towel, crouching down to wipe up the mess while Stretch tried to remember how to breathe normally. 

Finally, he blurted out, “you scared the shit out of me, andy!”

“I noticed and it’s extra impressive considering you don’t shit,” Jeff said. He tossed the cup and dirty paper towel into the trash can. “And you didn’t answer me. Do you want me to come with you?”

Stretch laughed unsteadily, “you don’t even know where i’m going.”

“I don’t,” Jeff agree. “What I do know is that leads to the labs downstairs. And I know you have trouble with labs sometimes, even your own. So. Do you need me to come with you?”

Jeff’s gaze was steady, calm, and beneath it was that warm gentleness, the compassion on his face as obvious as the soft green of his soul. It was hard to resist the urge to grab onto him and drag him downstairs, fuck all the security protocols, but that would be plowing over all kinds of boundaries and Stretch wouldn’t be the only one getting in trouble over it. He wasn’t about to damage anyone at the Embassy’s trust in Jeff over his own stupid issues.

“nah,” Stretch forced a smile, “you need to get upstairs before you’re the designated coffee runner for the day.” Then, when Jeff didn’t move, he said, more seriously, “but you can hit the button for me. if you want.”

Jeff stepped up but instead of pushing the button, he wrapped both arms around Stretch’s rib cage and hugged him tightly. All of Stretch’s good intentions snapped like the elastic in an old pair of undershorts; all he could do is lean down and hug Jeff back, his slim body giving in a way that bone simply couldn’t. Jeff was softer and squishy and so very Human, the best part of humanity.

If anyone came down towards the elevators, Stretch might’ve let go sooner. As it was, they stood there an embarrassingly long time for whatever security cameras were probably watching. Jeff didn’t let up an inch, held tight and let Stretch be the one to step back first. 

Stretch shook his arms out, gave himself a full body shake. He could do this. 

“okay, i’m heading down,” Stretch said firmly. He pushed his card into the key slot. “hit it.”

Jeff did and the elevator door slid open smoothly. Stretch stepped inside and the doors were closing almost before he could turn around.

“You can text me whenever you’re done!” Jeff called through the narrowing opening. The door closed completely before Stretch could reply but that was okay, Jeff would know his answer without him saying a thing. 

He pushed his keycard into the control panel slot and tapped in his password; the calendar numbers of his wedding anniversary used in a linear equation. The elevator lurched hard enough to unsettle his non-existent stomach and started downward.

No big deal, Stretch told himself, struggling to pull his keycard back out with sweat-slick fingers. He rubbed them impatiently on his pants and tried again, and this time the card came free, just as the elevator doors opened into the gleaming stainless steel and glass of the labs, all clean sterile lines, nothing at all like his own cluttered workspace. But it was all fine, he wouldn’t even be in the lab long, Alphys always took him right to her office. 

Right on in and she could do all her tests, let him know the state of his body and soul, that was it, yep. 

No big deal at all.

* * *

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

Stretch was only two steps out of the elevator and already he could taste his own sweat heavy on the back of his tongue. It was fine, no big deal, it was only a bunch of equipment, right? The harsh gleam of the overhead fluorescent lights on stainless steel shouldn’t be that damn upsetting, it shouldn’t. 

Shoulda woulda coulda, and fuck it all, because it damn well was, and the bitch of it was that Stretch wasn’t even sure why. 

He started to turn around. Not to get back into the elevator, no, he wasn’t peacing out. Only to breathe for a minute, use those hard-learned tactics for controlling an incipient panic attack that Doc Lee spent the past year trying to pound into his hard skull. She hadn’t said it in so many words, but Stretch got the idea that they’d all been thoroughly tested already on Sans. 

Close his sockets, focus on breathing deeply through his mouth. In for four, hold it, out for four. He was supposed to be so damned good at math, he could manage that much. 

What felt like a hard, rubbery fist clenched in his chest was starting to ease when he heard someone calling his name. 

“Stretch!” He turned to see Alphys almost scurrying up and her smile was warm enough despite the trifle of worry in her eyes. 

Yeah, okay, better to keep her worries on the right path. Stretch hung on a 100-watt smile and beamed it right her way, “hey, lizard lady, how’s it going? i didn’t even have a chance to ring the bell.”

She held up her phone. “I g-get an alert when certain k-keycards are used in the elevator. C-come on, come to my office.”

Going to her office sounded like a super plan. 

Stretch followed after her as she led a path through the maze of metal tables and equipment, the other scientists in their long white coats. He knew the way to her office, but it was easier to focus on the long yellow tail poking out of the back of her lab coat, concentrate on keeping that breathing nice and even. 

Alphys wasn’t always the most observant person out there when it came to social cues, but she sure as hell understood anxiety. She knew he wasn’t keen on the labs. Not from anything Stretch said, not fucking likely, but he was pretty sure Ass-gore had a top-secret file on him somewhere with a nice long list of his skills sets and another one of his phobias. He kinda thought the skill list was longer, not enough to bet on it. He hoped whatever pictures they stuck in it caught his good side, namely his ass.

The second Stretch was through the office door, Alphys closed it, shutting out all the bustling sounds and reflections, and the relief of it being out of sight, out of mind, made Stretch let out an explosive sigh. 

Alphys gave him a nervous smile as she gathered a stack of folders out of the guest chair. “So-sorry about the mess.”

On her desk, bookshelves, and even the chairs were cluttered piles of papers and diagrams, surrounded her computer monitors like flimsy skyscrapers, the bright corners of manga books poking out from random levels, and empty coffee mugs standing around like statues. 

There were toys, too, statues and plushies both, one that looked distinctly like smiling piece of poo, another of dragon, curled around one of the coffee mugs. On her desk was a figure from ‘Mew Mew Kissy Cutie’ and that gave Stretch a little pang to see. 

Back home, (no not home, not for a long time now) it was ‘Bow Wow Smootchie Beauty’, the main character an anime girl with adorably floppy ears. For the first time in longer than Stretch could remember, a longing twinge for Undyne rose up in him. Not this world’s Undyne, _his_ Undyne, and he hated phrasing it that way, but he couldn’t think of something better. 

He and Undyne hadn’t been besties, but they’d still been friends. Close enough that he’d gone to her place a few times to hang out, watch anime, and chatter on about the episodes and what was the best kind of cup noodles. So many words tossed back and forth about nothing at all. So long as they stayed in her rooms and out of the lab proper, it didn’t bother him, and Undyne never brought up her work, even when it was kinda obvious she wanted to. 

That wistful look started showing up more and more, and Stretch stopped going even before everything went to shit in Underswap. There was something for his regret bucket. That he hadn’t taken the time to keep up his end of the bargain, hadn’t invited her over to his place for some movie viewing and yeah, she hated Snowdin, but he hated Hotland, so it was a fair trade. What wasn’t fair was knowing that if he’d been in Underswap, he would’ve gone to Undyne about this problem, without ever letting her talk about her work. Watched her nervously rub her hands together, half her face obscured by her long hair, hiding behind that curtain. 

Stretch blinked hard, tearing his gaze away from the little figure and focused back to Alphys’s concerned face. Underswap was a long time ago and he needed to keep the count his of personal issues to one hand, thanks. 

“hey, so thanks for meeting with me,” Stretch said. He plunked down into the chair while Alphys sat at the one at her desk, specially designed to allow for her tail. He didn’t bother resisting the urge to reach for his lighter, letting the rhythm of weaving it through his fingers soothe him. 

“No problem,” Alphys said, “we got off c-course with t-tracking your HP. Is it t-troubling you again?”

“let me get straight to the meat of it,” Stretch said, “i want you to run another scan on my hp, then you can tell me.”

She nodded. “Have you been h-having any symptoms?”

“i’ve been really tired lately, run down,” Stretch admitted, “i take a nap and i wake up still tired. i can fall asleep anywhere.”

Alphys hummed thoughtfully, “S-sounds like Undyne r-right now.” She gave him an unexpectedly teasing look, "Are you s-sure you aren't p-p-pregnant, too?"

"har, har, al." Stretch about sprained an eye light rolling them as hard as he could. “unless i grew some unexpected equipment, there won’t be any knocked up at my door.”

"Well, in theory, s-soul mating c-could result in the c-creation of a souling, there were experiments—"

"in theory, sure,” Stretch interrupted, unreasonably annoyed; he didn’t want to talk about experiments, thanks. “but that requires rubbing two souls together long enough to make a fire. since edge and i stick with rubbing pelvises, i'm going with not." Stretch shuddered; just the thought of it was nightmare fuel. "sorry, preggies is okay for people who want it, but i'd rather donate a femur to the cause.”

"I th-think I wouldn't have m-minded," Alphys said, shyly. "But Undyne has better HP than me, so we d-decided she should be the one to c-carry the baby.”

Even talking about this was making him a little uncomfortable, but Al had the look of someone who _wanted_ to talk, maybe needed to. She was doing him the favor, here, the least he could do was listen. Probably Al didn’t get to talk about it much, since she wasn’t the one with the bump. 

The memory of his Undyne made him push aside his discomfort. Stretch forced a chuckle and said, "heh, if that's the deciding vote, then if we were gonna baby it up, Edge would be the pregnant one."

"He would have very f-fashionable maternity clothes. He and Undyne c-could bond over prenatal yoga." Alphys looked at him curiously, rocking back in her office chair, “P-pardon me for asking, but are you t-two looking for a surrogate, then?”

“fuck, no!” Stretch blurted. Yeah, that might have been a little excessive, Alphys winced, cringing into herself. Stretch tied on his smile again, “sorry, sorry, that was rude.”

Alphys shook her head, and her words were gentle and nonjudgmental, “N-not at all, it’s a p-p-private decision, I shouldn’t have p-pressed.”

Probably not. He and Al weren't specifically close, as friends or anything else, so Stretch wasn't sure why his stupid mouth chose to add, "i really don’t want kids and edge…i mean. he says he’s fine with it.”

If Alphys was surprised to hear him toss out that conversational gambit, it didn’t show. She only leaned in, her eyes kind behind her glasses, “You d-don’t believe him?”

Wasn’t that the ten-dollar question? Stretch really wished he was sure about the answer. He wanted to believe Edge, maybe Edge even believed himself, tried to, anyway. Stretch looked down, away from Alphys’s gaze, and said in a small voice. “i don’t know.”

“Hm.” Alphys stood and waddled over to stand next to him. Even sitting, he had to look down at her as she settled a clawed hand on his shoulder, “I really want this baby,” she said, clearly, “But I th-think if Undyne d-didn’t want to have kids, I’d be okay w-with that.”

There was enough quiet sincerity in that to make him swallow hard against a knot settling in the back of his throat. “yeah?”

“Yeah,” Alphys smiled, a loving, brilliant smile meant for someone else, someone tall and brash, with a lot of red hair. Not his Undyne, but hers. “I f-fell in love with her, n-not her DNA,” Alphys said, firmly. “Although she does have very n-nice DNA. So maybe you should b-believe him.”

Stretch offered her a smile of his own, one that felt a little wobbly, but hey, it was there. Look at him, communicating back and forth like a grown up and all. Doc Lee would be so proud. “thanks al. congrats by the way. how are undyne and the bump?"

"Impatient," Alphys sighed deeply, and wasn't there chapters of meaning in that one word. 

“know much about the sprog yet?” Stretch teased and it felt okay. “gonna be twins? tadpoles?”

She giggled and shook her head. “N-no, the ultrasound is showing one baby. She’s d-due anytime now, it can be d-difficult to gauge with mixed Monster species.”

The scientist in him was a little curious about that; he’d gone for physics over biology. He wondered who they’d gone with for the dad juice, but he wasn’t the kind of asshole who would ask. 

“i do like kids,” Stretch admitted, “i just don’t want part ownership with one. bet edge would like to babysit.”

She hummed thoughtfully, “B-be careful with that offer, I’m s-sure we’ll take you up on it. Now, we’ve g-gotten off-topic.”

Stretch winced. “yeah, sorry, sorry, i know you’re busy.”

“Not so busy that I can’t h-help,” Alphys countered. She turned around to scrabble through the clutter on her desk, came back with a notepad and a pencil. The tip of the pencil hovered over the paper, ready to write, “Now, you’ve been t-tired. What are you getting when you run a Ch-check?”

Of course she’d ask that, it made sense, it was the very first thing to be done to see a Monster’s stats. Quick, painless, and loaded with info, and Stretch didn’t really have a good reason for not doing one already, past ‘don’t wanna’.

Time to face the tunes. “i haven’t run one,” Stretch admitted quietly, “i know, i know, i’m wasting your time--”

“Hm? No, I don’t think so,” Alphys scribbled something down on the notepad. “Anything else out of the o-ordinary?”

“i thought about it and the only thing i can think of is i’ve been doing a lot healing lately, more than usual.” He didn’t say why and Alphys didn’t ask. “a lot of shit’s been going down. honestly, i don’t even know if something is wrong, but if there is, i wanted to get a leg over on it, get checked over before anything worse crops up.”

“You’re t-tall enough to get a leg right up over my h-head,” Alphys said, and the gentle tease soothed. Right up until Alphys set aside the notepad and picked up a tablet with a pair of electrodes dangling from it. “Right then, l-let’s run some t-tests. Can you summon your soul?”

Fuck, he hated this part. Or maybe hated was too strong a word. It wasn’t _that_ bad, really, Stretch was used to a certain clinical touch on his soul from time to time, he got sick too often not to be. Used to the feel of gloved hands holding it steady to slip in an IV needle, or to attach leads, or to take a minuscule sample to study under a microscope, checking for what kind of germ hooked its wagon to his personal shining star this time. He was pretty numb to the whole ordeal at this point. 

If he were honest with himself, and hey, sometimes he was, it hadn’t felt quite so invasive until he’d let Edge go hands-on with it. No one else had ever cradled his soul in a gentle hand, gazed at the silvery light that poured out of it with adoration. Sure as hell no one else had ever seen it during sex, rubbed a careful, bare thumb across its smooth surface and dragged such toe-curling pleasure out of him he’d damn near fainted from it. 

Yeah, it was hard to sit back down in the waiting room once you got a glimpse of paradise. 

He summoned up his soul, and didn’t watch as Alphys went to work. She was professional and gentle, hooking up the leads with barely even a pinch. She tapped the tablet and almost instantly, her expression changed into something... complicated. Um. That didn’t seem good. “what?”

“Oh, it’s n-nothing, let me--”

“it’s not nothing, you look like someone gave you a pinch on the ass. what is it?”

“It’s n-nothing bad,” Alphys corrected. “L-let me finish first, hasty c-conclusions lead to bad r-results.”

True enough but that was easier to deal with when it came to his experiments on growing better yielding plants through hydroponics, not so much when it was his soul on the line. 

He waited impatiently while she poked at the tablet and managed to give her all of three minutes before bursting out, “okay, so what’s going on?”

“See for y-yourself.”

She held out the table and on it was a screen was a visual display of all his stats, from his soul pulse (running too fast) to his defense (sitting at its normal too-low), to his HP, displayed down to the tiniest decimal. 

His HP, which had been slowly ticking upward for the past few weeks, was still doing it. Only now it was above five, closer to 5.3453367883. The last three crawled upward as he stared, turning to a unaccusing four. 

“it’s going up,” Stretch said blankly. Way to state the obvious, there. His mind wasn’t calculating anything past that, nothing beyond his initial shock. He’d been expecting bad news, braced to hear the worst, and this was the exact opposite. It was like a trash bag breaking open to reveal piñata candy inside. 

“Y-yes!” Alphys said happily. She tapped a clawed finger on the tablet screen. “It’s s-still going at the same r-rate as before, only it’s traveled p-past your base HP!”

“but…why?” Pointless question, what did it matter so long as it was going up, but Stretch didn’t like mysteries, not on television and not in life. He liked answers. 

“That’s harder to d-determine,” Alphys admitted. “You d-did say you’ve been getting more rest lately, but th-that usually causes a one-time boost, n-not a cumulative effect. You said you’ve been using your m-magic a lot m-more, yes?”

“yeah, more than i usually do around the house.” 

“M-maybe you should keep that up.” She snatched up the notepad and started scribbling furiously, leaving Stretch to gingerly remove the leads himself and allow his soul fade back into his chest. “T-take more shortcuts, practice a few a-attacks. We aren’t meant to hoard our m-magic in our souls, we need to l-let it out, k-keep it from going stagnant.”

“i guess i could.” Shortcuts, anyway, Stretch wasn’t really keen on making any sort of attack, not even for the magic drain, thanks.

“I think you should t-t-try it,” Alphys said decisively, “For th-this week, work on using your m-magic more than usual, then come back and we’ll r-run another test. It’s worth investigating.” She paused. “Of course, there is a-another possibility.”

“what?”

Her smile was a little tremulous, “M-monster souls response well to h-happiness.”

Before Stretch could say anything to that, his phone rang, showing an incoming call from the main source of his current happiness. 

Fuck, he’d told Edge to call on his lunch.

He held up a shushing finger to his mouth and Alphys nodded, even as he swiped to answer it, “babe! i was just thinking about you—”

“I hope they were kind thoughts and not nefarious plans.” Just the sound of his voice was soothing, the soft underlying humor wrapped around his concern, “How are you feeling?” 

Too much enthusiasm was going to set off alarm bells, so Stretch settled for, “better, i think. more myself, anyway.”

“That’s wonderful to hear, love,” Edge said warmly. “Then if you’re feeling better, perhaps you’d like to come upstairs to my office and have lunch with me?"

Welp, so much for secrets. He should have known better to even try at the Embassy. If the spy gear didn’t get you, the gossips sure did. “who tattled.”

“I’m afraid I can’t reveal my source.”

Yeah, about the only person that took out of the running was Andy, and only because he’d promised not to tell. “yeah, i’ll be up in a mo’.”

“Wait,” Came unexpectedly from Alphys. “C-could you ask Edge to c-come down here? For a few m-moments?”

“um, sure, al,” Stretch said slowly and all his relief about his HP started to curdle until she hastily spoke up again.

“It’s n-not about you. O-or it is, but n-not in that way, it’s n-nothing bad, only an experiment I’m doing. I c-could use both your help.”

That didn’t sound at all ominous or anything, did it. But he owed a favor and Stretch did like to pay off his tabs. Eventually. 

“babe, can you come down to the labs, to alphys’s office?” Stretch said into the phone. “she says it’s nothing bad.”

“Of course,” Edge replied, surprised, “I’ll be down in ten minutes.” The call disconnected and left him alone again with Alphys for ten long minutes, ten minutes that he didn’t really want to discuss experiments in until Edge was here. He could give Alphys that much, more than he’d ever given his Undyne. 

But only when Edge was here, that was the thing and it was okay; Edge might be the one with all the strategy, but Stretch had a trick or two up his sleeve, too. 

“did you see the last mew mew kissy cutie holiday special?”

Alphys brightened visibly and took the bait, babbling her way excitedly into his trap. Stretch settled back into his chair to listen, for at least ten minutes, but his wandering thoughts were more on his HP and that slow upward tick.

* * *

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

At almost exactly ten minutes on the dot there came a knock on Alphys’s office door and if Stretch didn’t already love Edge, he would at least have thrown a dollar store valentine his way for the rescue from Alphys’s monologue on how the Kissy Cutie fandom really didn’t understand the true motives of the main characters and the pureness of their love, and how was she supposed to read about that and not comment, she couldn’t, right, and did he think she did the right thing?

That sharp, precise knock interrupted her and before Alphys could say a word, Stretch was already calling out, “come on in, babe, you’re the next contestant on—”

He trailed off as the door opened and Edge came inside. Or, more accurately, he scooted inside. Not like the scooters the kids used to zoom around on the streets of New New Home, oh, no. He’d said it was getting his mobility scooter today and it was so much better than Stretch could have ever hoped. 

First, it was _red_ , metallic candy-apple red, and whether Edge ordered it to match his car or the doc had a sense of humor did not matter. There was padded sort of seat for Edge to put his knee and there were handlebars and a hand brake and best of all, a little wire basket for Edge to put any of his work stuff. Holy shit but Stretch would pay good money up front for a photograph of Edge dignifiedly tooling through the hallways in his business suit with his bright red scooter, a cup of coffee secured in his basket along with a collection of folders, maybe even a scone wrapped up in a paper napkin. 

Stretch wondered if Edge would kill him if he put a bike horn on it or just maim him. Probably banishment, max, and it might be worth a night or two on the sofa just to see the look on his face, way better than the cool, stoic look he wore now, tempered with a hint of worry.

Seriously, he didn’t want to make his baby self-conscious, but it was a _scooter_ and if Stretch kept resisting the urge to make a pun, it might result in actual bodily harm.

He propped his chin on his hand and gave Edge the best cheeky grin he could manage, considering his lack of cheeks, “nice new wheels, babe, that how you roll? lemme scoot aside and you can have my seat.”

The scathing glare Edge shot is way might’ve knocked the points off his new HP growth, but hey, least Edge wasn’t worried anymore. 

Edge ignored the stifled snort from Alphys, who was diligently trying to keep a straight face, points to her for staying out of the line of fire. Stretch was pretty sure that by definition, scooters weren’t listed anywhere in the Esquire guide for a business-like appearance, so it was pretty impressive how Edge managed to scoot on up to the chair, all but radiating poise. Hell, Asgore needed to take some tips from his honey about majesty, seriously, those Hawaiian shirts of his were an embarrassment for all of Monster-kind. 

Edge settled into the seat, shrugging Stretch off when he tried to lean against his back, his spine ramrod straight as he asked, coolly, “What can I do for you, Alphys?”

Oof, looked like Edge wasn’t in the mood for jokes if Stretch wasn’t rating a greeting. That Edge wasn’t asking what he was doing here in the first place was a fair sign that he was either hacked off or respecting privacy until he could corner him alone. Maybe both.

“Th-thank you for coming down,” Alphys said. She looked uncomfortable enough to make Stretch regret yanking Edge’s chain. Didn’t stop her from forcing out, “I w-w-would have sent an email, but Asgore p-prefers we don’t keep an electronic t-t-trail for these studies.” The way she flicked a glance at Stretch when she said Asgore’s name meant his unsubtle dislike of the King was getting around the rumor mill. “You b-both know we’re working on studying M-monster souls.”

“yeah?” Stretch said warily. That wasn’t news, souls had been studied since Monsters evolved enough sentience to poke at ‘em with a stick.

“We’re c-currently studying the r-resonance of souls and how it d-differs between different Monster s-s-species.” She spread her hands, tittering nervously, “Obviously, it’s more c-complex than that. B-b-both of you have clearance to read the r-results if you’re interested, but you’d have to do it in the lab, the d-d-data isn’t cleared for general release.”

Yeah, there was some reading material that wasn’t about to end up in Stretch’s mental librarby, no thank you. Edge was tapping his gloved fingers against his knee in that way he did when he was getting impatient. It was his first day back, he probably had shit to get done, so maybe it was time to push Al to cut to the chase, “so, what, you want to get some measurements from skeletons, is that it?”

“N-not exactly,” Alphys leaned forward across her desk, her eyes gleaming behind her glasses, “I already have r-readings from Sans and Papyrus. What I’m investigating is if th-there is any difference in resonance of s-souls from the other Universes. Blue let me scan his s-soul already and—er—” She cleared her throat uncomfortably, “Red has already d-d-d-“ Alphys struggled and finally spat out, “declined.”

Yeah, Stretch bet he had. Now there was a conversation Stretch would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall to see. Kudos to Al for having the _cojones_ to even ask Red.

Alphys didn’t linger on whatever mental scars that chat left her with and went on, “That l-leaves you and Stretch—”

“No,” Edge said immediately. The word was sharp enough to cut and it might if Edge kept flinging it around.

Alphys only nodded, accepting, “O-of course.”

“hey, wait a second!" Stretch straightened up, offended, “i get my own vote here, we left the word obey out of the vows, thanks.”

Edge only glanced at him briefly, “Of course I wouldn’t presume to speak for Stretch, only myself. I…” Edge hesitated, his fingers starting to dig in where his hand rested on his pant leg. “You must be aware that I have LV.”

“I am,” Alphys agreed, softly, nothing but kindness in her broad face, “but it w-won’t affect the scan.”

Edge nodded stiffly, “I’m sure. But my answer is still no, I’m afraid.”

“I understand,” Alphys said. Her gaze flicked to Stretch, hopefully, “W-would you be w-willing, Stretch?”

Well, hell. Hadn’t thought that through very well, had he, too busy getting pissy about making his own choices. It wasn’t showing his soul that was the problem; fuck, Alphys was literally just plugged into it and it wasn’t like most of the medical community hadn’t taken a solid look at his soul already. The only way it’d get more exposure is if he’d sent a pic in to be the centerfold in some skin magazine. Yeah, he was okay with the soul part, it was the scan he wasn’t so sure about and the look on Edge’s face said pretty clearly that he wasn’t okay with either or.

But Alphys was trying to help him out, he owed her one, and if it was only a scan…maybe better to hedge his bets. “how invasive is it?”

“It’s only a s-scan,” Alphys said reassuringly. “You’ll n-need to s-s-summon your s-soul and leave it exposed f-for a couple of minutes, no more th-than that and no samples.”

Edge was all but radiating no, no, no, and that was enough for him to hesitate. His baby’s comfort was important, sure, but Stretch could appreciate the necessity of scientific progress. If scanning his soul could help someone, then he could suck it up this once. Sure. He could. “can you do it now or do you need me to stop by later?”

“Now is fine.” Alphys looked relieved, already hopping out of her chair. “The m-machine is in the other r-room, follow me.”

It was so damned hard not to bristle at the phrase ‘the machine’. 

Stretch followed her out of the office, his sneakers dragging on the floor and his gaze firmly fixed on her tail. He didn’t look back at Edge scooting along behind him. They didn’t go far and the anxiety that was starting to itch at the inside of his rib cage eased a little when he saw the inside of the room.

There was a nicely padded table in the middle of the room with a couple long, flexible wands attached to it. No gleaming stainless steel, no restraints, and nothing at all like the portal machine or…huh, he didn’t quite remember what else. Didn’t matter, this looked less threatening than an x-ray machine from any doc’s office. 

Alphys patted the table. “Lay d-down right here. I’ll be in the other r-room configuring the machine. S-summon your soul, I’ll get a s-s-scan, and its done. T-take your time.”

She waddled off and left Stretch there, looking at that table, at the little wands with their lenses focused right in the middle. He took a breath, let it out, then flopped down, living up to his namesake as he stretched out. The table was a little short, his feet hung off the end, uncomfortable but bearable. It was okay, it was all good. Stretch could do this, no sweat, summon his soul and let her scan it, then he was getting the fuck out of here and out into the sunlight. 

“Let me summon your soul,” Edge said suddenly, startling him so badly he nearly yelped. Fuck, he’d almost forgotten Edge was even here. Stretch opened his sockets and looked up at his husband looming over him. Crimson eye lights met his own and there was no mistaking his concern. It helped, knowing he wasn’t alone here, that Edge was with him. Edge wouldn’t let anyone do a damn thing that Stretch didn’t want them to, he’d tear the whole lab down with his bare hands if someone hurt Stretch and he believed that with every bit of his trembling soul.

Then the words actually registered. 

“um, okay.” Stretch gave Edge a narrow, suspicious look, “but no touchie, you. if you start touching, it gets all excited and i am not riding the bus with soul jizz on my shirt.”

The corner of Edge’s mouth quirked upward. Of course he’d think that was funny, the pervert. He ran a gloved finger gently down the side of Stretch’s skull, tracing the line of his jawbone. “At least the Humans won’t know what it is.”

“yeah?” Stretch snorted, “and any monsters will think i’m headed home from the orgy scene of a less than tasteful porno. my gossip tank is full up right now, thanks, no touch, got it?” 

“No touching,” Edge agreed, softly, so it was pretty stupid that Stretch felt bereft as he pulled his hands away.

Stretch closed his sockets, focusing on his breathing. A long moment of nothing and then came a gentle, insistent pull, painlessly urging his soul to emerge. The touch was achingly familiar and Stretch relaxed into it and let go, felt the cool air on his soul as it manifested for the second time that day. A quick peek showed Edge was going with the ol’ sibling standby of ‘I’m not touching you’, and he wasn’t, but it sure was a close thing. Both his bare hands were cradled around it, a protective bony barrier as a replacement for his own rib cage, the silver glow of his soul reflecting off the ivory bones, seeping through Edge’s fingers to fill the room. 

Alphys’s voice came from a speaker overhead, “Edge, you’ll have to step back so I can scan it.”

Even without Edge touching his soul directly, Stretch could feel his reluctance as he slowly stepped back. Souls were like radar dishes for magic and Stretch was already overly sensitive on a good day, even without his soul lurking outside his body all bare-ass naked. Checks irritated him when others barely seemed to feel them, Intent came rolling in like he was accidently tuning in to bad AM radio station and right now, he was picking up something from Edge past his unwillingness to let go.

The faintest glint of green, healing magic, hm, in-ter-esting, someone had used healing magic on Edge and recently, very recently, and Stretch almost asked what the fuck was up with that, except maybe lying here with his soul hanging out wasn’t the best time for a chat. Particularly when he’d snuck down here to visit Alphys on the sly to begin with.

Yeah, okay, if he got to keep his secrets then Edge could have this one. For now.

Edge had hardly let go when Alphys’s voice came overhead again. “Done.”

Stretch hastily let his soul fade back in, scrambling to his feet as Alphys came back in from the other room. 

“T-thank you, Stretch,” she said happily, “Edge, if you ch-change your mind, let me know?”

“Of course,” Edge said crisply, in a tone that meant ‘not fucking likely.’

“yep, he will,” Stretch blurted, already backing his way towards the door. He didn’t mean to be rude, but he’d had just about enough of the labs today and he needed to get out, right now, before he vomited on the nice, clean floors. “thanks for everything, al, see ya!”

He didn’t wait to see if Edge follow him, didn’t wait for Alphys to ask to see him again or for any other favors or even to bring up anime. He headed right to the elevators, ignoring anyone else that he passed in a white coat. He slapped the up button so hard his hand ached, silently commanding it to hurry the fuck up and open because that nausea was sitting right at the back of his throat, thick and sickly-sweet.

“Easy,” Murmured next to him, “Try to slow your breathing.”

Stretch only stared blindly at the closed door and didn’t say anything because if he did, that morning’s partially incorporated coffee was going to make a return appearance. The elevator dinged and Stretch all but crammed through the opening doors, stumbling to the back to press his overheated face against the cool metal. He heard the door close behind him, felt as elevator lurched and started up.

Even without looking, Stretch knew Edge was standing next to him, watching him with concern and trying to resist the urge to touch. Respecting boundaries, that was his baby, always trying so hard. 

“it’s okay, you can go hands on,” Stretch mumbled. Immediately, a soothingly cool hand settled on the back of his neck, a strong thumb rubbing gently along his cervical vertebra.

“Are you all right?” Edge asked, gently blunt.

“getting there.” Stretch took a deep breath and stood up straight, leaning into the comfort of Edge’s touch. “we still on for lunch?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of you coming to my office and lying down for a bit.”

Stretch nodded, weakly, “that works, too.”

Another ding warned that they were at their floor and Stretch turned towards the door as it opened. There was nothing out there but offices, people in business suits at their desks and making copies and typing away at their computers. No labs, no experiments, only paperwork and administration.

Knowing that made it easier to step out this time, walking towards Edge’s office with the skeleton himself scooting along next to him. Stretch stuck his hands in his pockets, moseying along, his lingering agitation slowly easing. At least the scooter kept Edge to a pace a little less than his normal power walk; maybe that was a high HP thing, Papyrus always chugged along at top speed and Blue might have shorter legs, but he always kept pace with those two.

Huh. Thinking of HP…

“so.” Stretch kept his gaze on the floor, watching the way the untied laces of his sneakers trailed along the carpet. “you gonna ask what i was doing down there.”

“I am not,” Edge said calmly. Seriously, it was really impressive how dignified he could make riding along on a kneeling scooter look. “If it is something important concerning your health or someone else’s, I’m sure that as my husband, you would tell me and not go down to the labs alone while trying to keep secrets from me out of a misguided attempt to protect me or shield me from any issues that as your spouse should be mine to help you deal with—”

“yeah, yeah, edgelord, i get it, quit shoveling the guilt, i’m already knee-deep.” Stretch took a deep breath and let the words come, “i went to see al because i wanted her to scan my hp. we kinda got off track with it after, you know, everything, and lately i’ve been feeling tired. not…not bad tired, not too bad…i’m doing a shitty job explaining it.”

“You’re doing fine.” Yeah, like he couldn’t see the way Edge’s jaw was working, the slight twitch in his cracked socket. Even the pace he was scooting at changed, stiffened, his highly polished shoe scraping against the rug. 

“let me just cut to the spoiler alert,” Stretch said. He ignored the quiver in his voice as he spit it out, “my hp is going up. like, permanently.”

Edge stopped completely, right in the middle of the hall. Two interns who were walking close behind almost ran right into them, and whatever bitching they were about to toss out was swallowed down when they got a good look at who they almost ran over. Edge didn’t even watch them scurry on down the hall. His eye lights stayed right on Stretch, sockets hooded and his expression unreadable. 

Hurriedly, Stretch went on, “it’s not huge, only, when it got to 5, looks like it decided, what the hell, let’s keep going up, it’s 5 and change now, not super impressive but—urk!’

Of all the reactions Stretch was expecting, having Edge pick him up right in the middle of the damn hallway to hold him tightly was nowhere on the list, but here they were, him lifted completely off his feet while strong arms crushed him into Edge’s embrace. 

People were probably staring and Stretch didn't give two goodie goodie shoes because holy shit, this was actually happening. Barring the time Edge carried Stretch through the Embassy in a sheet in a misguided attempt at protecting his non-existent dignity, the most Stretch usually got in the way of PDA was hand holding and the occasional peck of a kiss. 

“edge!” Stretch gasped out, mostly laughing with a pinch of scolding, “put me down, you’re gonna hurt yourself!”

He might as well have saved what little breath he had since that didn’t happen. Instead, Edge spun them around like this was some beach movie and they'd just done the long run across the sand to embrace in front of the sunset. Stretch could only hold on dizzily, laughing and trying to squirm loose without actually getting there. 

It was a relief and a disappointment when Edge finally set him on his feet, and that was only to cup his face in both hands as Edge rose up on his toes to scatter kisses over his face. By the time he drew back, Stretch’s whole face felt a little damp and the only thing dimming his giddiness was the sight of faint tears rimming Edge’s eye sockets.

"hey." Stretch ran a thumb along the rim of the socket, gathering dampness, "it's good news. you don't cry for that."

A rare smile lit Edge’s face, lit _him_ , and Stretch wanted to capture that image in his own mind, whisk it away someplace safe to bring out whenever his inner sadness loomed threateningly. 

"You do if it’s about the person you love," Edge told him, hushed, and leaned up to press a soft, lingering kiss to Stretch’s mouth. Right about that moment, from somewhere nearby came the muffled sound of an ‘aww’ and Edge immediately jerked back, all signs of that smile vanishing. 

Ah, well, good thing Stretch had an excellent memory, right?

“Let’s discuss this in my office,” Edge murmured as he dusted off his jacket and straightened his tie before he started up the scoot again. 

Luckily, it wasn’t too far away. Stretch managed to give Janice a wave even as Edge herded him into his office. The door was barely closed when Edge had both hands on him again, shoving him back against the door and kissing him with deep, fervent delight. It was a huge disappointment, particularly in his pants, when Edge drew away, holding Stretch back when he would have dived in again.

His smile was fainter, softer, and that was okay because it was still there as Edge asked, “Was she able to tell you anything else? It’s certainly good news, but why now?”

“dunno,” Stretch shrugged and when Edge didn’t let him go for another kiss, he sighed and added, “she did mention something about monster souls responding well to being happy.” If kisses weren’t gonna pan out, Stretch could at least give Edge a poke in the ribs, right where he wasn’t supposed to be ticklish. “looks like you’re holding up your end of the bargain in the whole happily ever after thing.”

Instead of being amused, Edge’s expression fell a little, his smile fading and that was exactly the opposite of what Stretch was hoping for, “babe?”

Edge ducked his head, his voice dropping in something like a hoarse confession, “Lately, I haven't felt like I'm making you very happy, Rus.” 

Okay, yeah, no, not going there. Stretch shook off Edge’s hands and instead of shoving in for a kiss, he took a quick shortcut and stepped out behind him, wrapping Edge up in the little spoon of a tight hug. "nope, none of that. babe, even when things are rough on our personal roller coaster, you always make me happy. always. you are my happy ending, you get me?”

Gloved hands settled on his wrists, holding on gently as Edge leaned back into his arms, “I’d rather be your happy beginning, love.”

“endings, beginnings, whatever part of the story we’re at, you make me happy,” Stretch told him fiercely. He buried his face into the crux of Edge’s shoulder where the collar of his shirt met his cervical vertebrae, breathing in the familiar mixture of laundry detergent and spice. “every chapter of our lives, every misplaced comma and run-on sentence, every—”

“You’re losing the metaphor,” Edge said dryly. He turned in Stretch’s arms, his mouth warm and meltingly gentle, and this, yes, this. This was his happiness and Stretch planned to hold on as tight as he could, with fingers and toes.

“you wanna see my soul?” Stretch murmured against Edge’s mouth, just to see the hot, eager flare of crimson eye lights. It was already manifesting in his rib cage as Edge walked him backwards to the sofa, silver slickness beading on the surface and if he had to lose his shirt for a hasty cleanup after, welp, that was a sacrifice Stretch was more than willing to make.

-fin


End file.
